Homestyle Fish Fry

We grew up eating a lot of homestyle fish fry. Most of it was inspired by the fish fry we would see in clubs, food trucks and eateries around our hometown in Kolkata. It used to be a favourite for many wedding reception menus. Definitely, we would all line up for the fish fry and I remember the shape used to be a diamond shaped one.

When I made this earlier- we would buy from the local fish shops and ask them to cut it as fillets for fish fry. They would do the needful. Definitely the thickness of the fillets varied.

Today I am able to buy this fish quickly through an online store.

Homestyle Fish Fry Critiques

Many fries across the different places would be reviewed and critiqued for the thickness of the coating, whether it was too oily or the fish was too smelly. You know the usual drill of over critical elders and very frank youngsters.

I don’t attend too many weddings these days and I am not a member of any elite colonial style club that serves this special dish.

I realised making it was important for various reasons.

Firstly, you can control the quality of the oil, the other ingredients and the freshness of the fish.

I prefer thicker cuts of fish with lesser coating- again that’s pretty obvious why. But then this needs to be fried and treated differently.

And learning through actual practice helps you later if you do have to work with cooks, chefs or caterers.

The recipe I share is for a homestyle fish fry which is easier to make in smaller batches. Adapting it for commercial purposes is something, we have not discussed or thought about, yet.

A Reminder about Homestyle Fish Fry

The occasion was a special weekend spent with my nephews who are budding home chefs and discerning foodies. They grew up in kitchens where food was home cooked and mostly care was taken in what they ate growing up.

When we leave our parental homes and venture out into the world- that’s something that may become more difficult to sustain.

I went through that same cycle through my early days of struggling with work pressures, eating out, fast food (easy deliveries of pizzas for example) and that temptation still remains.

More on that in a later post perhaps.

Today, as I age- I am trying to capture a few of these classic nostalgic recipes as well -as a tribute to a few friends and family members who had their birthdays in the last few days.

50 Years of being fed by all

My husband celebrates his 50th Birthday very soon. Unfortunately, he chooses to spend it elsewhere. Not my choice- it’s his choice. Why?

Million-dollar question. Which should be asked to him- not me. People treat him well- they abuse me instead.

As far as I know, I have made several attempts through the years to celebrate small and big occasions with him and others in his life in the best way possible for us. However, nothing is enough for him from my side it seems. The demands kept growing with little given in return. Strange- how memories fail conveniently.

I was there through Sickness and Good Health when he wasn’t treated so well. But I was still cast off by him and others with aspersions around my character and respect/disrespect. It’s sad but there’s not much I can do about other’s interpretive stories. Each man now at this age has “Lord of the Manor Born” style of egotistical dispensing of women in their lives.

Was this really the world you promised to your daughters, sisters, wives or mothers? Hope some of you feel the dismay that I am trying to share across these few lines.

I am actually beyond mortified. If you were looking for a “hop on hop off” bus instead of a woman in your life- perhaps you should not have married. And not lived as a husband for so many years professing love and other false words. All this while you and everyone else in your life took advantage of me and my kindness.

Homestyle Fish Fry is made at Home

Homestyle Fish Fry is for those who do like to celebrate or share with their partner, family or friends. I am not sure, where I fall on that spectrum after 13 years of being with him in a marriage where I was deemed to be an “unnecessary woman“.

Hopefully- life and few more days, helps men like him understand further on why for him wives or partners are frequently cast off as unnecessary women. I cannot heal his misguided notions in life.

That’s my special wish for his multiple rounds of circling around the Sun and multiple rounds around different marital fires.

For now, I have a temporary home for having this kitchen to share the recipe.

I am grateful for that and a few people here who help me to share- some meals, a few recipes, conversations over food and some learnings around travel, art and definitely local produce.

Guests are welcomed with Homestyle Fish Fry

My learning over the years is that November brings news of many migratory birds from the North to the South. People are preparing for December with a lot of shopping, purchase of gifts and many outings. I am being forced to quickly book tickets to visit my hometown.

Honestly, that’s a difficult one for me. While I do wish to visit my family there- especially my mother, every visit is a mixed bag of happy and traumatic experiences.

I wish it weren’t so. But just to illustrate- last few times I visited, my gifts were thrown by my brother, my mother’s helpers and then finally by her. I was mentally tortured and physically abused.

All of them have collectively made sure that I am seen as a temporary and very unnecessary woman there as well.

My presence is not needed. And as far as talking or spending more time is concerned, they get to do that with others and feel happier.

Italian Mafia interjections and breaks

I actually feel very vulnerable and bullied there in my hometown in my parental home. I am stating this clearly. None of them helped me with my ventures or getting a home/job.

But some of them have earlier extracted money from me or used me for getting more entertainment, contacts and business.

When I seek out some help- that’s usually with a lot of arrogant dispensing of advice to do this or do that instead. Not much help in what I am trying to do. And repeated reminders or pressures to go get a job.

Funnily, when I do take their advice or feedback to try something- I am still not helped or supported. Seems like quite a scam going on there by people who love to talk a lot instead of actually doing something to help me.

Too late for deep family fissures

Finally, I ask the important question. Where am I needed or wanted in this universe? Sad reflection- nowhere. 🙂

So, here’s me trying to create a little safe space for leaving behind a few things which I hope will help someone someday. It definitely helps me- I do need to live for now and eat!

And sometimes sharing the meals and the memories helps. Sharing the recipe may help a few.

Truly there are quite a few other recipe blogs or websites out there. Mostly I’m shown those instead of my friends or family helping me with developing this further.

Stars are heroes or heroines for them- who knows what’s actually the truth of the feedback and constant criticism in their own lives. I’m more concerned about improving this website and associated people further.

When I shared the homestyle fish fry- I got immediate feedback that the salt is less.

Feedback definitely helps

At first, I thought- yes, usually keeping the salt lower is a good thing. Then after I took a bite- I pondered. Perhaps, the next round of frying I can add a bit more lemon juice and salt.

The people I was sharing this meal with- have no problems with salt or blood pressure for now. So, voila- quick correction and definitely it tasted better in the next batch!

Pro Tip: Most important for this is buying good firm fresh fish, cut well and taking care during the process of marination or frying.

The other feedback was a timely reminder that traditionally a very strong pungent mustard sauce is served- kasundi as a dip alongside. This is also often mixed with different kinds of green leafy vegetables and eaten with rice – traditional good “Bong mom” recipe during winters.

Take care of Uneven cuts

I realised I don’t have that typical traditional local kasundi. But I did have some regular mustard sauce and ketchup which had to suffice for the time being.

I had some homemade tomato salsa and another corn-based dip which was prepared to snack with some lavash. They kind of went well with the fish fry too!

In fact, now I remember a cheesy white sauce is often served with a heavy oily batter fried fish called Fish Orly in some clubs and restaurants of Kolkata. Not my favorite but quite a few people swear by it.

I usually feel a bit nauseous after that kind of heavy dense food. Perhaps I might have enjoyed that more in my younger days, I don’t remember now.

Experiences around Homestyle Fish Fry

Some cut onions, cucumbers and a slice of lemon is often served alongside. Let’s say- that’s the typical serving which is provided by caterers when you discuss menus for events or weddings for instance. Some people avoid that because you don’t know how clean, fresh or hygienic that might be.

So definitely- events lead to some amount of food wastage. How do we tackle that problem?

My little party and little home style recipe is to encourage people to waste less, and sometimes smaller gatherings and home style meet ups are easier to manage if done on a rotational basis.

I actually had just 1 piece of Fish Fry left which I had with soup the next day. So, this was easy to manage. There was a lot of garbage- but I had a helper who helped me clean up the next day. She also took home some of the leftovers from the day’s cooking.

I have shared a recipe of a few soups earlier. Do check more options in our Youtube channel.

Have you adapted to others wishes?

Originally Fried Rice and Chilli Chicken was planned along with Fish Fry.

But we didn’t make that since my nephew wanted to make a rich cheesy pasta dish instead. My choice is simpler usually with more portion control. Enjoyed learning more in the process as the boys had fun in the kitchen.

Definitely, look forward to more feedback. Time for some more learning.

How else, could I have improved this recipe? Do let us know in the comments below.

Another little project is in the pipeline to thank a few people for giving me a bit of hope this year.

I have not had many free meals in life. So perhaps my perspective is different from many more privileged children today.

Reflections over many lost recipes and meals

It may not be a lot but there’s a saying in our native language (Hindi)- Doobte ko tinke ka sahara milta hai. Direct translation or transliteration is not advisable. Perhaps an English equivalent of that is – A stitch in time saves nine. 🙂

My younger nephews are full of hope.

They talked about the excitement around a few new film releases, an upcoming rock concert, exploring a few more eateries/bars around town, a colleague’s wedding, moving to an upgraded living space, the sports groups they have joined and what’s up in their work pipeline for the next few months.

So definitely there’s more in store for them. What’s my role in that universe?

I listen and merely share a few little snippets from the past. Everything has its own time, and nothing truly lasts.

You work, you serve, you love- and then you are blamed and kicked out. Funny- weird justice system.

Homestyle Fish Fry Sobering Home truths

I smiled remembering the thrill of all that during my early years of independent living. (Surely, the memories of those moments last?)

Some were mingled with good or bad experiences. But it was always about the people with whom I shared or celebrated.

My helper is on leave and her 16-year-old daughter has come to help here instead. I feel horrible about this substitution by a college going kid. But she tells me she has been working for a long time to fund her own education.

Reminded me of my own school and college days of trying to earn a bit to share with others. I used to give tuitions to kids to earn a bit of money to support my own education. But perhaps that’s not relevant for entitled kids today.

Now her father has turned around to support her while he was very reluctant earlier. I do hope these kids see a brighter future ahead. My life is difficult enough now.

Somewhere, I see them feeling proud of their own achievements and results. That’s what matters perhaps.

Homestyle Fish Fry Quick Reminder

I have not forgotten the elderly who are vegetarians or vegans.

A few visits to ashrams were done in the past. I am sharing this note as a reminder to my husband who has made several trips to help himself and returned with clothes, notes and more things for himself alone.

If any of us were trying to train him for thinking about others (e.g., a wife) or a family- perhaps we have sadly failed through many years.

I don’t feel proud. I feel quite ashamed of my husband and in-laws who could never see or acknowledge their own mistakes. Even through several marriages where they duped women they brought into their lives and families only to abandon after extracting everything from them.

These three notes are a reminder of their age now. They should behave accordingly. They got respect by giving gifts to others and denying his own wife and his responsibilities towards a marriage.

I wish them more luck in cheating and duping other people who are perhaps being fooled today.

Footnote

Thanksgiving Carrot Cake

Hope this reflection is not so dark and dismal

Morning may give a pause for criminal deflections

Abuse is not your prerogative alone

Just like kindness is not an act of injustice or justice

Sometimes, feelings are manipulated

By those who were abused themselves

I have no way to be truly objective.

Honest reviews help when they are given

At the point of actual occurrence

Or the event.

Many a times, the feeling fades

The memories are painted over

In various different versions and shades.

Was I truly that horrible in this life of yours

And was I truly that much of an Unnecessary Woman?

Mockery can be used for destruction of crockery

But, breaking homes and breaking people

Is really a different level of fuckery.

I know no other way to walk in peace

There are people with bigger disease

Unqualified to help those who are really sick or ill

Here’s me trying to share what I can

With whoever is reading or following still.

Melting Lemon Drop 23.11. 2025

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