Sunday Lamb Curry is not uncommon in many households. For us when we were growing up in a small town, it was a special treat. My father would buy mutton in bulk from the local market for many people working in his team. It saved them the time and of course, he developed a rapport with the seller. Over time he would get a special discount, and the shopkeeper knew to give him the right kind of fresh product.
Singapore Sojourn
When I moved to Singapore, I was crazy in love. I got the experience of it firsthand when we set up home. We went on date nights when we could. We would walk all around -shopped here and there. I worked hard at my job, at home and to understand how to be a good wife. But did it work?
I don’t know. I felt somethings. Apparently, the other person did not feel it. I’m told now after almost 12 years of use and abuse. Who knows, maybe I was delusional.
Apparently, the marriage certificate was just a piece of paper! He was taught this by his parents and therapists with much more superior value system (?). Their value system comprises of killing off one daughter in law after another it seems. It helps them to earn money and pay their bills for a comfortable old age. It helps them to feel like they helped to “liberate” another woman while she keeps screaming foul. You are just liberating yourselves from your responsibilities, you faceless cowards.
Apparently, they were all deaf, dumb, blind and completely not a part of the entire 12 years of marriage. Does it sound like a scam to you? I don’t know. You tell me.
It’s so easy to shit on other’s lives and wives while we work silently in beehives. How many times did I hear the words- I will leave everything and go away. But then, they didn’t actually go away. Instead, they stayed back and supported poisonous snakes.
Loaded Festive Gift Hampers
Coming back, shopping for ingredients with my husband was fun for me. But later he preferred to go alone. There was a particular market and a particular shop, we would frequent for fish and meat. Over time, we changed our shopping habits. We didn’t have Sunday Lamb Curry as a tradition. Sometimes we had it when we had festive occasions or friends over.
Less meat, more fish, fruits and vegetables started to appear. We ate less, we craved less and of course we had fewer people at home. Celebrations with kids and others reduced as children grew up and left.
When I started baking, he was supportive at first and then he complained when I shared with others. I was pushed to keep exercising and looking for work with almost no support. I struggled to be even counted as an entity in that household or family. When you are treated worse than a maidservant by people you supported and nurtured- you know it’s time to go.
When your husband chooses your mother-in-law over you, trust me- he has no balls and definitely no face.
Are we talking about male dominated masochistic values again? I never read Crime and Punishment. Everything had to be earned through a reward system. And when they received it; it was joyful- “Of course I must have done something good“.
Is there a difference in viewpoints. Sure, there is. If you don’t cherish something and are able to let it go so easily- clearly, there must have been something wrong I did, not you. Confusing?
Piloting a Utopian Model of Intolerance
Some left because they preferred their own meals and friends. Others left for distant shores. It became very difficult for me when I was locked up with many constraints. When I tried to go out, it was questioned by others. What I tried to do was dismissed by my husband and friends. Over time, I think I lost myself and every shred of happiness.
George Orwell spoke to me in my dreams last night. Said you don’t look like Lara Croft anymore- so kindly try to kill roaches now instead of coaches. Are you confused as a woman who supported mothers to rise and then saw them kill you and your voice in return?
Why do you gift someone aprons and then say- I hate you in the kitchen. I want you to go on a mission or a witch-hunt. I don’t understand either of these contradictory statements.
You follow American and European model coaches. Then you give Indian or Asian values to your wives, daughters and mothers. And then you discard them to get other Indian and Asian maid servants.
Rumour has it that ill humour must be killed. We must show a face of pretended joyfulness for the pleasure of surly parents and elders. They are the ones who will give us misery, but we must still look bright, chirpy and completely without any troubles in this world.
Somehow that is supported by a few as a textbook example of “In Pursuit of Happiness” through silent meditation. And then supporting all kinds of vegetation. So that elders live, and younger nations die. Political gambits are beyond my ambits. I will revert to other subjects.
Full Moon Madness with expectations of no Sadness
We don’t like other humans talking- we love to talk to plants, animals and birds instead. We also love machines that help us to eat and do “clean living” while we admire such animals. Such clean living comes by silently wiping off people and data from the face of the earth. But we don’t wish to dig deeper.
We support people who don’t support others or sharing. Definitely, it helps in our not caring.
We pay others to care on behalf of us. Tears, screams, negative emotions are for missies. And somehow rearing up the head of Isis works for people with some problems with Iris.
We say this sincerely – we hate sarcasm. But we support marital rifts and chasms in others’ lives. Guitar riffs for our dear only child is more important. It’s all about the Boy for Mr. Pearbhoy. Apples are ok but God forbid if we eat a few pears.
I leave a question here for my husband and his well-wishers- was I such a Bad Wife or was I too much of a Good Wife, bro?
If you extract everything from a woman, somebody who is feeling unsafe and then push her into more uncertainty and insecurity- who is to blame? (Am I talking about the wife now or the maid servant? You tell me Genius with a half dead brain).
Nobody cares. Because nobody has the guts to call it out. He himself is unable to face me. Wishes to send his secretary mother instead. (I send all my ducks in a row back to him.)
Someone told me- I am not attached to any objects. Then proceeded to usurp everything – all objects and subjects of affection. Fishy!
Spoilt Starters in the fridge
Food is not important they told me- bags, shoes, clothes, accessories and stylish home decor is more important. Money is very important. After leaving me with much advice – very expensive advice. They proceeded to steal my money and cut off all my networks and ties.
Does it sound vindictive to you? I don’t know- Lent lessons about Cane & Abel coming from elderly folks who are unable to even tolerate Sugarcane and Sable. But we must pay for their cable and everything else they push on to our table.
I loved the food there and I did make a few friends who helped me to explore more. Over time, I tried to plan for our finances while I learnt to behave in a socially appropriate manner in that country.
I spent on things, on my husband, on our family and friends. And then they said- why are you spending so much on these while you are not earning any money. Stress piled on stress piled on stress- was it necessary?
What I saved, invested in and created through my hard work was usurped by my husband and in-laws. Today, I am an embarrassment I’m told while they are hailed as respectable people. I wonder why? These are the very people who helped to spoil several women’s lives helped by therapists and lawyers. I cannot scream out my lungs there- that would be considered inappropriate. When I tried- I was bullied, physically assaulted and made to shut down.
Chef, Maid, Wife, Mother, Sister or simply a Cook
I didn’t get paid for these roles. Did you?
Apparently, any woman will do for him as long as she is docile, submissive and completely 100% adherent to his tyrannical ways. He wants to say politely he’s sorry and run away again. I don’t understand how to explain that is not polite and is disrespectful. I am angry and quite frankly very pissed off. The blackboard is for blackguards who wish to send more emoji explanations. I see you, I know you and I spit upon your cowardice.
I’m told now; this is a done thing to show how kind you are. You just say sorry and run away after cheating on your wife. His parents have taught this to him as a well-mannered boy. He wants to explain to another woman again how he is reformed. Do I deserve an award for tolerance or intolerance?
Perhaps neither…. We both deserve better in life. As I study more about Conversion of St Paul, there are more questions I have about bucketing steeds instead of buckets of steel. Somehow, we missed that clue as we rewatched Better Call Saul.
Now the question is simply when and who will settle these mismatched accounts between me and my husband. I don’t trust artificial intelligence in this matter. Sorry. That’s just who I am.
Mars Bar Attacks
All his learnings from first wife, second wife, several mistresses and third wife (who he wishes not to acknowledge) he wants to try to implement on the 4th wife which is allowed under some law. Dissociations are common for people who don’t wish to cherish or acknowledge efforts of their wives, sisters or daughters in their life being what it is.
Their own problems are so huge that others appear to be miniscule in comparison. Some of these problems maybe self-created- but we can’t point fingers at such things.
He has no qualms, and his parents have no qualms in making this a “done deal” in human exchange instead of monetary exchange, objects exchange and any other exchange (apparently).
I am unable to support these ridiculous exchanges without being given any further detailed information. I would like to have the complete destruction of such exchanges till I have my husband here with me.
(Side question: What is the statistical probability of this occurrence?)
I’m told this is very awkward to convey in a respectable manner- he has stolen my identity. Then left me with humiliation and shame. I have no other way to convey to others what has transpired because he wishes to use lawyers now to bludgeon me to death.
Throwback Thursday Moments and Memories
Why is an old man trying to impose his diktats on younger women repeatedly and setting such examples of intolerance and cruelty on others?
I supported my husband in his career, health and relationships with friends & family. I juggled with a demanding career and setting up home.
My health suffered significantly and perhaps so did his as we aged. I helped to train and recruit several helpers. We supported our family members in their travels across different places in Southeast Asia. Sometimes it happened when they stopped over briefly in longer journeys.
Well, they kept the helper instead and paid her money from our savings to spend on accessories, clothes and other things. She lived comfortably protected and nurtured by my husband and in-laws, while I was thrown out. My in-laws support women who work while they don’t work themselves.
So, who is allowed to judge their judgment on their daughter in law? Is there no other way to show how to love somebody? You tell me. I tried every which way. I was told repeatedly that this is not love, that is not love, nothing you do is love.
It’s very confusing. Who is settling the different accounts for such destructive behaviors? My accounts have not been settled yet. How is a new account being opened instead?
I’ve given more than I have received from my husband and in-laws. It’s my version of the story. I have no answers for those who wish for equality. Right now- I suspect, it’s a difficult word to practice and preach.
What is amusing about this story? I leave it as an open-ended question- hanging in the air.
Now I get back to sharing the lamb curry recipe.
Sunday Lamb Curry is not confusing
So today, this Sunday lamb curry comes as a special offering in memory of Poila Boishakh which is the New Year for many people in Bengal. Vishu, Baisakhi and other Indian festivals around the same time. It’s the marking of a new harvest season.
Traditionally this is when the money from the harvest was distributed, and new seeds were sown. I left my engagement ring and wedding loha with my husband who is missing. I do wonder what he’s eating now. We have to buy new clothes also. I have no time or inclination for oversized earrings now.
Last year, I connected with a few ladies who helped me to explore more in Bengaluru. Some were old friends and some became new friends. At least, I count them as friends.
We have less connection with villages and farms these days. There are many middlemen/women who help to connect the farm to table supply chain. While I say a little prayer for a bountiful crop ahead with an offering of this recipe, I also remind myself of a few other issues.
The dust, noise, pollution and increasing traffic around where we live is a worrisome after effect of progress. There are half finished constructions while new ones are coming up.
Sunday is not necessarily Funday
Parents are stressed with new things to be bought, rising school fees, different expectations of parenting and workplace issues. I seldom see many of them, because they are all busy managing their own relationships.
it’s a gift of love
Some are running away for a month or two to take care of themselves while this mess continues. I did get a warning from well-wishers and yet I stayed back for a bit too long.
Why? Because we have financial obligations despite our secret desire to let go and sing “Let it Go”.
As they say, there’s no place like home and for nomads like me- there is no home. I have addresses for documentation purposes and they are required. But what is home, I don’t know. I felt at home sometimes in my life. Today, I feel at home. Tomorrow I may not feel so.
Safety is an important consideration when you want to feel at home. Peace is a different issue all together.
Lamb can be replaced with Mutton
Here’s my lamb curry recipe as an offering to the people who helped to share the load which was shoved by irresponsible folks on to other shoulders. My shoulder, back and neck pain continues while I try to save my legs.
Brain and heart diseases are yet to be tested. Wise people told me, I maybe dead by next January. And if I live longer, it will be a disease-ridden life of a leper. I cannot verify the authenticity of such statements.
Here’s the guideline that my husband and I developed -shared with our helper who now lives while I am supposed to die.
It seems very strict to me now, but it seemed alright then. Differences do exist in perspectives over time and different locations.
Mary Magdalene is missing now- so I try the best I can. I am not deserving of priesthood or sainthood– never claimed to be one. I am a simple woman who hasn’t watched The Handmaid’s Tale yet, though I read the book some time ago.
Revision of that book is unlikely given I am unable to read even 2 pages at a time now.
Surely, you are joking Mr. Fine Leg Man. It’s a Curious Incident of a Dog barking and a Cat Mewing at odd hours.
Happy, Sad or JLT Sharing
There are 3 stuffed babies on my bed right now and somehow my gas agency got changed due to unforeseeable issues. Is it a case of Artificial Intelligence strikes back again? You are really spooked out now, man/woman/child. What have you been smoking up lately?
I don’t know- I saw some tyres burning recently in the distant woods. Thick black fumes to mark some danger in a distance. Will it rain this month? Who knows. Guess how much time, effort and money I spent on this while I lived there? But who’s counting that? Does it matter, now?
Nothing counts. You see- nothing. You get NADA. We get everything- said my husband and in laws. Chop chop chop- choppity chop. That’s how we deal with every wife of our dear only son. Like a maid servant. And then we give quotation marks of Nobody can make you feel worse about yourself. I want such people who have super boosted immunity to give such grand statements to develop deeper empathy by losing everything themselves first.
Can you give up all food, water and air by the end of this month to make matters simpler? No, I can’t, but some other people can. I have a feeling, that will happen as temperatures rise in May or June.
Biology, Chemistry and History/Home Science teachers are missing it seems. Where? In some distant village somewhere in the middle of some islands which saw some earthquake recently. (Very vague and unspecific). Interesting route diversions- air and shipping routes will help us get there.
What do I do if some people don’t read anymore? Nothing. You do nothing. Reading between the lines is difficult with no sharing.
Mutton or Lamb Curry Saves Souls?
You make a mean pot of lamb curry; you toggle your memory cells and you immerse yourself in the process of creating. The joy of opening that lid to discover an aroma that is next to heaven is something that should be experienced.
Sometimes you cook joyfully, sometimes you cook with half choked tears and sometimes it becomes an old routine habit. But it still happens to be in memory of those who you hold dear.
And then you check the tenderness of the meat and savour the deliciousness of it when you eat it. You eat with gratitude because you learnt how to do so, and you remember a few people you missed when you ate it alone.
Sunday Lamb Curry is no More
Why torture yourself with this cruel tradition and solitude? You can simply buy it somewhere or sit till someone else makes it for you.
How do I explain this? Because there is a book, I remember which was floating in an Oily Sea of Poppies. And I thought of putting it down before I forget the rest.
The choice is always yours. Sometimes, you can choose not to be blind, mother Gandhari. The lamb was tender, but you are not very tender. I see that again.
You do you.
-Melting Lemon Drop 13. 04. 2025
1. Add more Onions and make a paste if you like a thick gravy
2. Make a paste out of cumin and coriander seeds instead of using powdered spices (if you like a stronger flavour)
3. Add more of the special Spice Mix if you like it spicier. Sunday Lamb Curry
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Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
