Are you somebody who hates a Fish or Fish Roe Fry? Or perhaps you are disinterested. Then skip this post and check something with chicken or your choice of proteins. I bought some Seer Fish Steaks the other day and realized that I hadn’t eaten it as a starter in a while. I’m always wary of Mercury. Unfortunately, that’s the problem with some sea fish these days. So, you can’t eat that everyday!
So, what do you finally eat? Not everyone can afford to have organic freshwater clean Atlantic fish every day either. Some people don’t like the taste of it, I hear. And have you assessed the cost of transporting that- cost to the Universe? So obviously, we keep it for special occasions.
Diktats coming from coaches and trainers in spaces which are very “divorced” or “detached” from the rest of the world is a problem, I think. Creating a scarcity for such foods, creates further demand and supply imbalances. Are we moving towards a more inequitable world?
Sure, looks like we are. So here I go making something else instead.
A Simple Dish is hard to replicate
A simple Rohu fish roe fry- called Maachher Dimer Bora in Bengali. Bora is a Bengali term which is like a fry or dumpling. It may be the same terms in Oriya or Assamese- I haven’t cross checked this. Do check out different kinds of bora or bori available online through your favorite search engines.
It goes well with rice and dal. One of my favorites for this hot summer season is a green mango dal made with Motor/Matar Dal. Somebody did use some kind of Motor oil to get that to my home. So, I’m a bit confused with all the conversations about conservation of oil.
I’m trying to balance things out by frying this in an electric induction stove which I kept for emergency purposes. Reason I don’t use it frequently is because of power fluctuations in the building that I live in.
Is it a common problem here- yes, it is. So, to those living in ivory towers- I implore them to dig deeper.
Fish Roe Fry Recipe isn’t Unique
No, the dish isn’t unique. Some of these problems can be fixed, while others cannot or take time. Do we live with multiple issues in life due to procrastinating parties. We do.
Does everybody handle all the problems on their own without the help of their partner/husband/family member around. No. But can I plead about that? It seems I cannot. (Why?)
Somehow, therapists, lawyers and other very knowledgeable people will dump me with more instructions on how to live a better life. They leave me with a bill and do nothing to actually help me. (Why?)
I do hope- they all live to see multiple problems in life with their own children and loved ones. Perhaps they might feel the pain instead of sending their problems and questions to my side. I think they ought to take this up with my partner instead who seems to have more time, money and energy. But I was told my partner is dead. So perhaps, I need that death certificate first?
Sweet words or simply knowledge shared instead of sweetmeats
My niece’s birthday is this weekend. And of course, there are older teenagers too who are more capable of sowing seeds of love or hatred depending upon where and how they are spending their time. Conversations and healthy debates are encouraged but somewhere there’s an onus upon all of us to find a less abusive world.
Say, if I feel like hacking off a few limbs/fingers instead of branches but someone dismisses what I am experiencing-“Oh, that’s just the ugly side talking“.
I don’t have the actual strength or inclination to do so. End up being given more advice about Meditation and Anger Management instead. How many more things, do I have to manage now, I wonder. I am not graceful or kind when I am pushed to the brink of collapse.
Credit is Shared for this Fish Roe Fry
Apparently, while I mourn, I should visit a gym, read a book, smile a lot, meet others to socialize, travel through impossible traffic jams, get a job, get a new family, adopt a pet/kid and also find the time to take care of my relations with friends and family members.
Oh, did I forget other essentials like shopping for clothes, furniture, groceries, books, accessories and maintain myself to look beautiful to others who wish to do more face saving.
And of course, listen to everybody’s victories or defeats in life. Smart asses will say I got a bee in my bonnet. Now I have a leafcutter bee building a nest in my balcony.
See! I’m confused what to do with it.
I’m thinking, what if I want to grow some vegetables next in a small kitchen garden? Where are these blessed learned people when I even need a light bulb to be fixed, laundry to be done or the plants to be watered? Or if God forbid any of us have a medical emergency.
I didn’t get help from them. I got help from a few other kind strangers instead. To start off, I ask a few people- do we need a new fire extinguisher, my Fairweather happy go lucky friends?
It seems some of them are busy watching TV or into their mobile screens sharing with other such blessed people who wish to escape their tasks in life.
Some wish to joke or lament instead about some other global issues. They might provide more advice to such unfortunate men and women to get the “cheat code” for appearing as Gurus. I was impacted too by the vitriol it brought in its aftermath- but we have to move on and find a solution.
Escapists travel in the height of summer
Do not buy more things I am told- invest in experiences. So, here’s an alternate experience I am sharing for the benefit of others who wish for only beautiful, pleasant experiences in life.
My part time helper (a migrant worker) who comes for 1 hour narrated a sad story about sharing her apartment with her sister-in-law. Apparently, she paid the rent to her sister-in-law, but the landlord did not receive the money. He came to collect it from her instead and tried to force himself on her in lieu of payment received. While I was shocked and tried to help her, I wasn’t sure what exactly was the next course of action.
When I asked her why she had not reported the case to the Police Station nearby- she responded that she managed to drive the man out and didn’t want her sister-in-law to get into further trouble.
Is this another ugly side of codependence which I see now? Is she speaking the truth or narrating a script inspired from another tv series/film which I may have seen recently? I don’t know- I have to trust her for now. (Why?)
Do you need more Oil for this Frying?
I went through something similar in my own life and hence cannot really judge her or others like her. People in power tend to abuse it. That’s what my experience has been in life. And those who feel threatened tend to lie to escape.
Would you have the strength to fight abuse if you were left alone without anyone holding the abuser accountable?
Would you have the courage to fight it if the very people you trusted, fed with your hands came back to stab you in the back? The people you thought were your friends and family turned around in return to help your abusive partner/husband? Perhaps because he/she presented a more convincing artful tale (?)
If not a tale, at least some offering of money or other more amusing/enjoyable stories to regale. Some music to pull your heart strings or some stronger liquor to get to your purse strings.
Eco System includes Humans as well
I read about indicators of our eco system being healthy. Some men and women equate money with love. So, they extract everything from you- money, objects, gifts, experiences, physical and mental energy. And then leave you saying- hey, guess what that was not love. I was helpless at that time, and I just took it up as a “job to be done”.
Say for example somebody says, my job is to ensure you die because I don’t like people who speak the truth.
Then you foot the bill for your recovery, rehab and therapy. There you go. More money to be spent- while they earn and then return to stab you again.
To such people, I say- I do hope you get much more of such transactional love. Do pay others to give you love and I don’t wish to know about your afterlife destination. Destination never matters- some wise asses declared glibly.
I am leaving it all on the table right now. And taking to some art therapy for the moment.
I don’t have the keys to your heart or your home. I took only what was given of free will. And then somehow, that will changed over time for a few who wished to be social climbers.
To such people with weak wills and more importance given to jugs of some kind of murky swills- I say, do take some time out to reflect. I read the book Vanity Fair a long time ago. And I don’t read that magazine unfortunately.
Natural Disasters are sometimes Unpredictable
I have done enough and more time out to reflect. I understood that this is not the story I want for my children. Do I have children of my own? I don’t actually. True story.
Unfortunately, nobody chose me as their mother/parent. So, I have to work really hard to share and empathize with others who have been blessed/cursed (depending upon your point of view). Parenting styles are different and there is a lot of rivalry between students and parents too.
Sometimes I refer back to my own younger days when I was foolish and made plenty of mistakes. I trusted some friends and they turned around to stab me in the back in a competitive bid to score more points. I tried to move on- focus on my work at hand instead.
Sure, I made some genuine mistakes as I learnt. Sometimes I was indulged and forgiven- given a few more chances to get it right. So, I try that with others but somehow it doesn’t work now. (Go figure!)
Busybee tries not to be
It happens to be a bit confusing when we wish to give something for free. I want to give this Fish Roe Fry- the actual product and the online recipe as well. Some are suspicious of it saying- what’s the value if there’s no price tag attached. And there are others who have tried it before and genuinely don’t like fish roe fry.
If I say its priceless, it seems a bit pompous and insulting to what they work hard for every day. Nobody is pointing fingers at my mother for losing her precious emerald jewelry set. (This is true- not a joke inspired from Bianca Castafiore’s endless operatic songs.)
Did she lose it, did she give it to someone else or was it stolen. Who knows? I was given some jewelry but somehow, she refuses to give me those now.
Funnily, my husband and in laws also refused. So, do I have a complaint against mothers. I may have or I may not have. I simply say- heavy is the head that wears or tries to wear the Crown. Do wear them to your funeral homes now.
Something is Debited – Emotional Bank Account is Overdrawn
I narrate this today online, because I have no other way to share this Fish Roe Fry. Mostly, I don’t feel strong enough to deal with people. Especially argumentative ones who counter your side of the story with more interjections and objections than actual listening. They are looking for one upmanship or conmanship and not really to help anybody.
And finally, you end up with their problems as well. It’s a heavy load that I carry on my tiny shoulders. I may judge but I may not think it is right to do so. So, what do we do? Well, I pass it forward to those who may wish to take it up lightly or just discard in their own sweet time.
I throwback this alternate question now to the universe. My brothers get this same boarding and lodging for free. I have had to work twice harder and deal with “teachers” on both sides of the law. Why?
This is the question I leave for Mothers ahead of Mother’s Day. I can pretend to be cute as well you know. But at my age, I don’t feel so cute. I feel too much of pain and anger right now. And that makes me quite ugly and not so adorable. I have had to bear with the injustices done to all of you and your children as well. Kindly take that mug and those wine glasses off the shelf and smash it to smithereens now.
You play your games. I have no patience with players now. They can be bought and can switch sides as per the leanings of the crowd.
Fish Roe Fry for those who Cry Me a River
The entire confusion of mixed metaphors and mixed-up conversations started with listening about “The Monk who sold his Ferrari” at workplace and then coming back to “Kalidas Kathas” at home. You know the one who axed the tree branch he sat on?
Ok, if you haven’t heard that one- read it here. I am not sure about how to verify the various versions of these historical stories. And we are always told to respect Diversity. So, what happens end of the day? We have people who abuse their helpers, their maid servants, their coworkers, their children or family members too. Children at an impressionable age pick up this from their environment.
Let’s all do our equal parts, shall we -if we want a more utopian equitable world? We have to deal with stories about abuse and injustices every day. Nobody is hearing about injustices done to me- so I will move now to sharing the actual recipe instead.
Perhaps it may be useful for someone somewhere someday notwithstanding whether I’m dead or alive.
Footnote
Jerome K Jerome is no more, and those Rowing Stories are perhaps lost
My own brothers and sisters used me to build a boat for Fishing
It wasn’t Noah’s Ark, it wasn’t The Titanic
It was a simple Fisherman’s boat
That drifted away and got lost deep into Deeper Seas
I cannot call out any one person’s name
When there are so many adding Fuel to the Fire
Rumour has it that I May have wronged Someone
Truth is I was wronged by many who never showed their Faces
They fired their volleys hiding behind other Mothers and Aunts
And I was weaker because I respected those Mothers
If you want Humility from them- it’s not happening
I get caught always in between the crossfires and yet
I cannot be cool or escape when you overheat the Motherboard
I see their follies and weaknesses
What can we do sometimes -the rivers do flow from our eyes
And blood from our abused wombs and tombs
It’s not always Milk and Honey
I repeat- some days are just not funny.
-Melting Lemon Drop 3rd May 2025
