Fishy Shashti- The Sixth Sense

Fishy Shashti Mystery box of ingredients coming up here. I’m putting down a small list of things you may need when you move from one country to another and for some of us, from one kitchen to another.

Shashti or Jamai Shashti is celebrated traditionally in Bengal to give good blessings by mothers to children and especially sons-in-law (Jamai). I have no clue why especially sons-in-law. I don’t see the counterpart for daughters-in-law.

Repeating an old story here- I came back from Singapore with 2 suitcases at first. Made a few more trips to get 2 more suitcases and 3 more boxes. That’s all my blessed husband and in laws deemed fit to provide. And all this on my expense.

I used my meagre savings- while they sat, ate, enjoyed, amassed more wealth and stealthily went behind my back to sabotage every attempt of mine to restart life here.

1. Fishy Shashti Good Wishes from a Not so Good Wife

While I was struggling, there were many platitudes given about peace, love, blessings and good wishes. They told me to get a job, a house, a new set of friends/relations here.

And I set out to do exactly that thinking that’s what was required for us to return home.

After a few months they turned around to inform me- my “services” were no longer required. As if, being a wife is actually taking up a paid job.

Well, if that’s the case, I’m going to cash in on unpaid checks because I never saw marriage as that. But clearly some others see it that way.

All this, after they had usurped our savings, much of my belongings there and besmirched my reputation to all and sundry through a series of “reunions” and “networking” events.

I’m told unless you look and act like a hoity toity arrogant jackass- you have no standing or sitting rights here. Ummm…ok. I think you can leave now.

2. Fishy Shashti stories from Lazy Conmen

My husband informed he wants to keep a maid servant instead of a wife and treat her like a Queen. (Interesting).

Kindly pay now to your wife who you treated like a maid servant. I think- it’s only fair since you made that choice.

And to be clearer- it should be at least half of what you have paid yourself all these years. Since you gave yourself a certificate of being a great saintly person. Or perhaps I should ask for the rights to the full amount instead.

Each and every thing is a “Gift from God“. 😀

Celebrate little losses and victories. (Good heavens- everyday?)

Here’s my question- are these human beings or actors pretending to be human? Does Artificial Intelligence have a role to play in trying to give different stories and interpretations to different people? Perhaps to influence their viewpoint in a manner which is more beneficial to some con artists?

Some of these people behind the attempts to manipulate are the very people, who I cooked for, kept house for and who I helped with my life’s savings. My efforts and my love were out of a pure faith of being a part of their family- not as a maid servant but as a lawfully wedded wife.

And all this while I worked at a demanding job which led to multiple issues with my own health.

3. Fishy Shashti entrapment by those allergic to Shellfish

To such people, I repeat- they have not trained their child very well in pooing and peeing. Because it seems every time the blessed manchild gets drunk, he discovers a new love in life.

That love could be love for a human, an object, a place or a new concept/idea. If you are being made into a plaything by kids who have no feelings for others- this is a warning. As you sow, so shall you reap.

Planet of the Apes was a film series which you may have forgotten but perhaps it needs to be revisited. I haven’t read the books. Especially in the light of comic superstars being more influential these days through memes, internet and TV programming.

My belated post comes in memory of a husband who chooses to act like a chimp. This is after 2 marriages and the third marriage where he rose in his life and career.

Was it with the help of my reputation, my network, my housekeeping, my diligence in planning, troubleshooting and saving every penny for him?

I’m asking because somehow, he wishes to deny all of this and more. Sent me a few nasty emails instead in lieu of showing up for himself.

4. Annoying Inputs: If you were allergic- why did you buy?

I stood by his side and worked tirelessly when we shifted apartments, went around the world, met new people, gained new experiences, nursed through poor health at different points of life and also supported many of his friends and relatives.

What did I get in return? I got a lot of hatred from others. I had to hear rubbish from them about him. And I had to hear rubbish from them about me.

Fishy Shashti attempts to pull and push again between two sides of the same coin.

I do pray for the death and destruction of such children and especially their parents who have supported them. They are becoming absolute monsters of callous and utterly disgusting behaviors in life.

Please get married yourself or become responsible adult parents. Unless you go through some misery in life, you will remain without any empathy for others.

I do not wish to see your bull-shitty AI generated articles and theories about how to be a better man, a better woman and other crappy pop-psycho BS.

Singing I’m a Jealous Guy will not absolve you of your issues.

If you want to send these nonsensical things and recordings to others and then sit back and eat off other’s hard-work and savings- I have news for you. These others will bite you on your ass.

5. Escapist Narrators for Fishy Shashti Mahatmas

You want to work for a bank which puts a premium on trustworthy behavior? And this is the kind of behavior you display towards your own wife/family multiple times in life?

Whatever is allowing you to be so completely utterly inhuman- I pray for the destruction of that entire nexus. That nexus needs to be completely fucked up to be able to do this to one poor woman who went from pillar to post to get a simple hearing.

What kind of monsters are they creating in the name of God the fuck knows which monetary security in life?

They are simply financing with an eye to actually making money from destruction of lives.

So, there you go- more people die, there is more money to go around in their hands.

There is an attempt to pass on pressure, ill health and stress to others so that they can sit back read, drink, dance or enjoy parties with their so-called friends and family. Try living with some of them.

With such so called “humans” who wanted to show off their superiority through love songs in order to go and jump into another so called Noah’s Ark, I have more news.

6. Dire Warnings. Death has your calling card- Fishy Shashti Lovers

Do check and reflect if any of these apply to you. It may help to pull you down a few notches from your self appointed high horses.

Some of you will get horrible allergies and more infections now as you scratch your nose or head to contemplate-

1. You take an inordinate amount of time in the toilet
2. Finding anything without your mobile phone is next to impossible
3. You have a urinary defect that leads to multiple rounds of peeing everywhere
4. You have a problem with infections wherever you go
5. Dietary requirements are too many and change frequently for any human being to cater to
6. You have apparently a pollen and dust allergy
7. You get serious infections if you walk on any streets, it seems
8. A debilitating addiction to all kinds of free movies, tv shows and anything that comes free of cost cripples you
9. You are unable to ever admit to the fact that you may be wrong and retrace steps to try to find a way to make things work
10. You are so deluded and have such poor memory that you have forgotten your own wife’s name, her birthday or your wedding anniversary while you are busy wishing others

7. Third Eye-I refuse to provide for my Wife

Hence, this post is dedicated to you and your parents who have helped you to become such a mollycoddled and namby pamby incompetent idiot of the first order.

We are fans of alternatives to Ikea. What it means is- we are fans of I-knot Kia. It’s a simple admission saying- I didn’t do anything. It was all done by my spouse. And today, I sleep like a Fat Cat- dismissing more responsibility like a Lazy Jughead.

Happy Birthday to my husband who has become a Ghost Who Walks (errm…it’s not his birthday). This is a so-called Jamai Shashti or Fishy Shashti Post to implore good hygiene practices.

I was never good at different kinds of Knots in Boys Scout or Girls Scout camp training.

Instead, I focused on doing little forget me knots in my SUPW class quietly.

Vermeer’s paintings come to mind here. Unfortunately, I don’t do any of these anymore due to failing eyesight. I have become Gandhari.

What was my fault? It seems the fault was that I was playing games or chatting on the mobile phone. Interesting, since most of the world and their parents do this activity.

And what was the other issue? I was punished mercilessly for trying to talk to my friends who I tried to connect with online during a lockdown period.

8. Collective Collaboration-Fishy Shashti Gossip Girls

Now, there was no problem in my husband’s connecting with any of his friends. Waisted or Vested Waste Management going on here.

In fact, the connection was so severely encouraged that there ended up being a lot of interference by other frustrated and desperate housewives or aunties. I want to be paid now for the services rendered by me and by him without any information provided to me.

Kindly provide all details in lieu of multiple Fishy Shashti/Jamai Shashti treats.

If others ate my fruits and blessings of my share, it’s only fair, that I ask whether any of you really care.

So, this nonsense around “You have good aatma inside you” can be narrated to other idiots. I have experienced myself, how “good” these aatmas were. I don’t intend to harbour them inside me temporarily or permanently. They were all useless selfish money grabbing narcissistic assholes. Out to extract, plunder and destroy in order to try to look better themselves.

9. Meanie Bean counters & Manchild Alert: Provision for your Lawyers

Should I help narrate how Bengali Mothers, sisters and aunts have contributed to this entire mess in their own well-meaning and utterly disrespectful ways?

They are proudly protecting their own jobs, marriages, families and wellbeing while they are busy attacking mine.

They are trying their feminine guiles and wiles to try to attract masculine energy through more makeup, nasty fragrances, haircare tips, fashionable attire, their figure and wearing body hugging clothes to try to accentuate their so-called curves and then talk about- “fight like a woman“.

I would like to add- it’s not only funny, its v funny. And quite a desperate act.

Sixth Sense tells me some of them are trying to get pregnant. Why? Because, you have no standing unless you are a mother it seems. Wow! I’m quite confused with this convoluted logic.

Mothers complain to me about motherhood. Fathers complain about their issues. I have no right to complain. At the ripe age of wrong side of 40s, I must be treated like a child.

If there’s no problem with pollution- why don’t you try to live and work through the construction noises with noise cancelling headphones – 24×7. That’s what we do to show empathy.

We don’t listen to anybody in our family. We love to give sermons and homily. But we don’t like it ourselves.

I am also a part of that same group of “sisterhood” or “brotherhood”. So how can I point fingers at them and at myself the same time?

10. Interesting question from Fishy Shashti Brigade

I was forced to change myself with a half dead husband who seemed like he couldn’t see me even if I stood in front of him every day. (Blind motherfucker).

Then he said- I don’t want a child. I don’t want to adopt either. Instead, I want to sing love songs to all and sundry. (Interesting).

Today, I say- go see others and jump into the blessed sea. You can’t swim to save your life, anyways.

But I do understand every finger you point at others- a few points back at you. I’m constantly admonished by very concerned parties.

Man in the mirror can also be Woman in the mirror. Weird- am I a Man or a Woman? (Does it matter?) When we are discussing food, ethics, family dynamics and managing relationships, some of the roles do blur.

For example, I feel, my father was a better mother. And my mother would have been a better father. What do I mean? Point to ponder….

It’s very confusing now that my father is no more. Mother keeps switching roles and sides. It’s very disturbing! Earlier my father was the one person she could lash out on and blame for everything. Now this is becoming very random.

And she needs minions around to feel more important. The Minions are sometimes missing.

11. Fishy Sixth Sense of Sabotage by your own

So, who am I to cry foul here? Some return with their own nasty declaration of turning up their noses saying- it is not only fishy, it’s v fishy! Sometimes, the instructions go to innocents who are not aware of this manipulative tactic.

Phone calls happen to a few people and there are instructions given confidently to enable her rising in life. Then there is another call to someone else- giving a completely opposite direction to thwart the previous person’s activity/attempt to progress. I can see- trying to extract some information in the process which maybe more useful.

All this must be done with big dollops of Irish charm and giggles to make them feel like they are going to Smiggles or in for a treat of more snuggles.

We have a generation of kids who don’t like fish for this very reason. Perhaps, out of a sheer act of rebellion against forceful feeding!

I left my husband to find his own feed at different times. And it seems he is very happy to feed on somethings like chicken shit.

Two-year-olds and three-year-olds are known to do that. They will crawl around and find dirt/dust in different places to put inside their mouth.

Any mother or a woman of a certain age and experience will know that. So, I am left with no choice but to state the obvious- please eat dirt. Stuff it inside your own mouth. I’m not being condescending. I have seriously seen that side of others. And it helps sometimes.

12. Desperately Seeking Alternatives- Men & Women

I am making some fishy shashti fare here today. And I have no problems in sharing this simple recipe. It’s very easy to make and we have many versions of it.

Dedicated to each and every meddlesome old aunty, uncle, brother and sister who helped in creating this confused mess. I hope you eat dirt for the rest of your life.

I will walk away every time I am pushed against the wall to try to take sides without any information. If you chose subterfuge and nonsense behind my back, you will get a very excruciating pain in your own head and your own back in return.

That’s the way it works every time in life. You gave pain- you will get pain in return. And I am not talking about Pan Pan bread here. Peter Pan complex is not exclusive to you alone. There are enough and more such people looking around for their own calves and hooves.

Can your own mother or brother help to slaughter you? Some of you may not have seen Mother India– an old classic film.

Nargisi Kofta is recommended for those who are more familiar with that genre of parenting. I believe they are called Scotch eggs by a few. Or something similar.

I am in a lot of pain myself- which goes to show, how right I am about the sabotage.

Bhapa Ilish for Fishy Shoshti

The story behind Ilish or Hilsa is age old. Do check online on the war between East Bengal and West Bengal over which is better- Hilsa (Ilish) or Chingri (Prawns).

I am sorry to say, I cannot choose between the two. I love them both. But for some people who have shellfish allergies, we prefer to serve Fish instead. It’s a different matter that I love Ilish myself. Ilish is a very bony fish.

Small tiny bones which can get stuck in your throat, unless you eat it carefully. And it has a strong flavour of its own- it’s a very oily fish.

So, to those who are not used to eating fish in the first place, both the smell and the bones can be a daunting hurdle. I do not recommend it for newbies at all.

Ilish heralds the coming of the monsoons. There is no Monsoon wedding happening this time.

I am simply paying a homage to many rounds of Ilish eaten, made and served to self and others.

Fishy Shashti Memories of Kitchen Experiments

Once upon a time in Lalaland I tried making a version of this Bhapa Ilish without bones. Picked out the bones painstakingly and then made a Paturi of it. I thought that might endear it to some children and help them sample this in a new easy to consume format.

It so happens that I got severe feedback from Ilish lovers stating my experiment was a sacrilege. It seems the very “ilishness” of it was gone. Go figure! So today, I am keeping it very simple. Some people abhor Fusion Foods.

The pieces which we call gadha and laeja which have the maximum number of bones are fried first. This is usually eaten with rice, a bit of the same oil it is fried in, a little bit of salt, green chilli and some gandharaj lebu.

Now the other pieces which are with the eyelet (stomach part)- called peti or ekchhai steaks are the delicate darlings which are usually made into a curry. (Why delicate? You have to cook with it and eat it to understand this point.)

Finally, the Ilish Head is made into a chorchori. I had shared a Malabar Spinach chorchori recipe earlier. You can fry the Ilish head and add it to this chorchori. Delicious.

Final Countdown of Fishy Shashti Ilish

A simple curry with potato, pumkin or brinjal is lovely too.

Or you can make a slightly richer version with a mustard paste. That one tends to be a bit heavier to digest.

I am sharing only the fish curry recipe here. Hope some of you try it and enjoy with your friends and family for Shashti- with or without a Jamai (son-in-law) by your side.

IMHO, especially useless and very abusive sons in law should be excluded from such gatherings.

Truth is that these days, we seldom have a chance to celebrate with a large gathering of friends or family. Traditional fare is often missing. And many of us prefer this to kissing and hissing. Let’s not even get into another match around pissing.

Footnote

Mustard, you don’t Sting (or Sing)

I would have made a very good Mother in Law

In fact, I became one to several Cats and Dogs

Different matter that I pickled the Ilish for later days

Instead of using it fresh

Alas, some people do not like Pickled Ilish

Quite different from Gherkins and Jerkings

If only there was no Coffee or Popcorn in my hands

I might have been able to see your handstands

It so happens; I like that song better

That Don’t Impress Me Much

Crows galore- we are all fans of Karthik it seems

While I told repeatedly, it is Ganesh for me

Every year is a fresh new start

So, I repeat, Jokers get a new heart.

Lokkhi and Saraswati are both very displeased

In their own ways- they grab another bunch of strays

They want to exchange Biryani for Thor 🙂

Hammering is not something they like it seems.

Melting Lemon Drop 1st June 2024