Chaalkumror Chhakka

Here’s an age-old recipe of Chaalkumror Chhakka being given up for the benefit of scarecrows. Oh you didn’t see it ever used as a head of a scarecrow? Maybe you saw pumpkin instead? Depends on what was locally available for you in your fields.

This is actually called winter melon or Ash gourd in some parts of the world. I developed a taste for it after we found out that the vegetable could be grated. I had traditional recipes of it earlier which required very fine chopping- knife skills which I didn’t have. And honestly was very time consuming.

Then we found a way of putting it in the mixer and just had the juice for cooling and soothing the body. Especially good with a bit of lemon and black pepper if you have a constitution that gets frequently overheated. I have tried it a number of times thanks to my husband who wished to become an ascetic.

Third Umpire for Cutting the Chaalkumro

I realised, he wasn’t really one. And the reminder came very late that he was just trying to follow his own gut. There was no other gut involved in the picture.

Anxiety attacks led to many stomach cramps over the years. And I heard about how that led to no sleep all night.

Pre-menstrual cramps or even later pregnancy cramps were debated. Whether I was really a woman who felt no pain. Fact is, I did feel a lot of pain. But my pain tolerance levels were sky high having lived and worked with men like him.

In fact, we had the question- are women capable of enduring more pain than men? Funny you should ask. I am tempted to hide my thumbs now.

The nerves connecting are quite visible and there’s a clear case of varicose veins. Does that answer some of your questions?

Chaalkumror Chhakka recipe is available

Anyways, we are moving on from Edgar Allan Poe books and Shyamalan movies for the time being. We are trying to see why children tried to use their imagination on the little ashgourd/wintermelon. Instead of using the pen on something else.

The books of accounts were eaten by Ui. What is Ui? I am a little confused by this new term now. And I have to use a new language translation dictionary for finding out more.

In the meantime, I have found a few fruits to be eaten by the Gods and Goddesses here.

Hansel & Gretel couldn’t find their way out of the maze of biscuits, snacks and wafers. That skin being peeled off the Ash gourd was very painful to watch. There was a coded message there which was destroyed before anyone could decipher it.

I can put it together again for the benefit of those who are mighty curious. But then we heard about how curiosity killed the cat. Will it be like an unsolvable jigsaw puzzle? I think so.

Horsing around about illegal activities

Very frustrating and we don’t deal very well with impatient kids. We are putting them in the little room which is empty. Cleaned out and has plenty of holes for letting in air and sunlight. Somebody put an empty shelf there with some hasty scribblings and the tile scheme is questionable. But its ok for now.

While I meditate upon the answer, we have soaked some Bengal gram (kala chana) in water. That maybe of some use for adding some taste to that bland and extremely insipid vegetable.

I have some boris or vadis (dried lentil dumplings) which I bought in Kolkata and that might be good with the vegetable curry. Nothing to do with Quo Vadis- let’s move on from that topic now.

Strappy Gladiator shoes/sandals are not a good idea when you are in a hurry to go out for an errand or finish some work. And they are very itchy and uncomfortable for most practical purposes in our kind of terrain.

Now which bori? Urad dal one or masoor dal one? Both sound equally dull right now.

We may need to bring in some grated coconut into the action. And perhaps some ghee to save our face. Are we sounding apologetic about this divine blessed dish? Have you even tasted it before?

A one pot meal instead of Chaalkumror Chhakka

Have you tried it with moong dal? Or maybe as an alternative with Gobindobhog rice as a khichdi? No? Ok. Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt then. You can try a little more of your innovation in your little cells of beehives all by yourselves.

I killed quite a few bees and a few roaches by myself. Nothing new there. But having them in the kitchen is not a good idea.

We have had a lot of dust and pollution thanks to a few kind builders who have delayed the construction over many months. I’m not sure how to interpret this- was it a blessing or a curse?

If they do the work faster- we may have a lot of disturbance during examination period of kids in critical phases. So, we have had to do a lot of juggling around based upon the MC hammer system.

Hammer fish or sword fish- we don’t know what you are talking about yet. It still sounds extremely fishy. Someone stole my curtain. Now someone is trying to deliver to me a chocolate cake that I didn’t order.

Shrimps maybe needed for Chaalkumror Chhakka

I overheard someone suggesting little shrimps at least with the winter melon. I’m in two minds. Since I already did a bit of shrimp salad last weekend.

I want to try a veg version this time because it is more difficult. The simplest of things are often the most difficult to get right. I have a memory of the taste of this chaalkumror chhakka from my childhood years. And no matter how much I tried, I never got it exactly right.

Holding yourself to the standard of a fading memory is a hard cross to bear. I share this because there maybe other fools suffering like me. It will never taste as good as it did when you had it as a kid. It will never taste as good as you think it tasted. Or felt it tasted.

But yes, you need to be really hungry to enjoy this anyways. And when we returned from school as kids- we were so famished and screaming in case our lunch/dinner was not ready on the table. God help us forgive ourselves for retaining that memory.

We were definitely not well brought up. When I say we- I really mean me. But perhaps, I will be forgiven since there maybe others who can identify with this same kind of feeling/situation.

Childhood Meals and Memories spur Chaalkumror Chhakka

I am choosing to forgive the younger me for those transgressions. And the older me weeps for that child.

Do I not see the same around in others today. I do. So, I weep so much that it is embarrassing for many adults. There are always simpler solutions and display of excess of emotions is confusing for many. It is over the top and makes things uncomfortable- people uncomfortable.

I am so grateful to have a bit of space and time to do these dramatics all by myself. It may screw up more kids as they grow up because the ways of the world have changed significantly. Like, I had asked for a simple woolen stole/throw from my mother. Something that she dragged her feet on forever.

Later I heard, she was very uncomfortable doing it. Preferred to cook for her son, watch tv and go around with her friends instead. She said, maybe a more interesting pattern would have captivated her. It so happens that she had chosen it herself. Not me. But we shall let it be. Maybe I can donate it to a dog shelter now?

Perhaps, I didn’t thank her enough for doing such a wonderful job of being a mother to a child picked up from a dustbin? No- I was a constant reminder to her about how much she really hated being a mother. The more I tried, the more I cried. Here’s me raising a toast to the so-called motherhood brigade.

You blamed the father for planting a seed and leaving. I blame you for escaping with your own self-serving stories. When you were so unhappy raising us kids- you should have poisoned us very early in life. Why leave things for so late? No?

Drama Kings or Queens reside in every kitchen

Mother India film may have inspired more development of the gun toting motherhood stories of self-sacrifice. I unfortunately, didn’t see much of that- I saw a lot of posturing and my dick or vagina is bigger than yours. I am unable to heal the frisson between the various factions which are asking for either more alcohol, more drugs, more oil or more of something or the other.

Kindly find a way to see yourselves to an early funeral pyre or a graveyard. Because apparently those wonderful sons you brought up were already amusing you so much in life.

I have really given up on the deliberate attempt to cast aspersions and stress on to one direction because you perceived that he/she was the weakest link. I am telling you to go take a flying fuck.

In fact, please do that with your own sons next. Apparently, in certain nations that is perfectly fine. Harassment of women is done repeatedly to save face of impotent men who have no face to save.

If you have the ability to do the work, then do it. If you don’t, take help from others.

Inability to call your wife a wife…choosing to call her a mother, a whore, a friend, a sister, a whatever works to save your own ass, is something that I have experienced firsthand.

In fact, was called so by perfect strangers. So kindly resolve your own differences first before coming and attacking other wives, sisters, daughters and daughters in law.

Passive aggressive defensive attacks by jobless people

A resident’s association which is repeatedly harassing residents (especially renters) needs to be examined to check if all residents have people in their homes at all times it seems.

Nobody will ever leave their apartments. In fact, they must also, have mothers, spouses, partners, children and several other family members in order to prove their respectability in the eyes of the laws.

They must eat vegetarian food and be completely devoid of any kind of toxic substances in their homes. Apparently, people will monitor how many times the residents are watching tv, having sex, spending time with their children, attending meetings, how many times they have visited other homes, gone to do self-care or even what is the amount of money or resources spent? They want fingerprints next.

Is it equitable or not. If it is too high or too low- the person or the residents must be chucked out or killed in order to save other cows, goats, sheep and animals residing in the zoo.

No? Doesn’t work. Sounds a bit stupid perhaps.

Nosy parkers in every country- kindly get a new pen to write in your own diaries whatever is your problem. 1984 was long gone. We need an updated calendar. If you don’t have any tasks in yours- let me share a few of mine.

Sick Family members want Chaalkumror Chhakka

Like I have a problem with an ailing mother with failing eyesight, poor health and extremely weak memory. Is anybody helping me with this problem? No?

In that case, let’s all stand up and mind our own business. I have a problem with my husband being dead, in hiding or in a prison cell for instance.

Does anybody help me bring him back, get him out of prison? No? In that case, let’s all stick to our own innumerable problems cited as my pain is bigger than your pain.

How do you know that?

I have a brother who sleeps most of the day, has even lesser responsibility and then pretends to be a savior for mankind as a prince of no kingdom. Is anybody giving him a crown for free?

Are men able to suddenly bear children? Sea horses can I believe. Not human men. So kindly get your testicles checked again. Some of you may be suffering from prostate cancer for instance.

On top of everything else, we have peddlers here with fiddlers on the rooftop trying to showoff their own dicks to the entire world. I am mortified. This is not the place to do so. Kindly find a hospital or a toilet or your own private space to do so.

Clear Statement of problem in hand

Right now, I have a problem of trying to figure out whether the chaalkumror chhakka had nigella seeds or cumin seeds in the tempering of the oil/ghee. Whether there were bay leaf, green chilli and grated ginger added or not. I had to take a quick decision, and thought nigella seeds, 1 slit green chilli and 1 bay leaf cut into two would do.

Imanbi helped me with some of the cutting of the vegetable, but it needed to be cut smaller. I had soaked and boiled the Bengal gram with a bit of salt earlier. Pressure cooking the vegetable is not required but it saves a bit of time.

Boris fried in mustard oil or any white oil will do. Just make sure you heat the oil on high flame and lower it before adding the boris. Since the boris were smaller in size- they don’t require too much time.

Just take them off the heat quickly. I may have added too many of them. But I wasn’t making anything else so thought it was ok to add a bit of protein quotient.

Most of us are used to having some dal and other curries to go alongside in this kind of a traditional meal. But sometimes if you are already full and almost ready to vomit, you want a simple and lighter dish. You may keep it to go with rice or chapati for lunch or dinner.

Anything else before we finish this Chaalkumror Chhakka?

You can have some of the juices from the vegetable curry as a soup and let it dry up a bit before you add the grated coconut and chopped cilantro/coriander. This is entirely optional and it tasted good even without it. The traditional method of slow cooking this in a pot makes the vegetable tastier.

I used a bit of the oil from frying the boris earlier and added a spoonful of ghee. Now, that made the colour of the vegetable a bit brownish. Traditionalists may balk at it. But I think for regular homestyle cooking, that’s fine.

We have others who prefer to go out or order in something a bit spicier or to their own taste. I have left it for them to decide on whether they wish to ever try this recipe in their lifetime.

Coercion and forced feeding maybe required for smaller kids, ailing adults and perhaps even those who are suffering from inflated egos. Some of it can be reframed as “wounded warrior” symptom. But I am not the one to do so. Nursing support is required in such cases.

Having nursed a few cursed people myself, I understand and empathize with the tricky jobs they have at hand. Let’s hope, the next couple of weeks is better and not worse than the last couple of weeks.

Footnote

Point no fingers said Fish & Chips

Some of the children cried

We never complained or uttered a word

And yet there was a pointed finger towards

An insect, an animal or a bird

I have a middle finger still

And maybe I am grateful for the knees I saved

Rather than the bees I killed

Which were gone from supplicating myself

Repeatedly to a few self-appointed gurus or quacks

If you talk louder, others may hear you

But will they listen? I am not so sure.

Hence, I share whatever I can

Before I am asked to make way for those

With loudspeaker and mike syndrome

And violent forceful grabbing of hands

To try to share their right to freedom

To rape, loot, pillage, cheat, thieve, adultery

And more.

If a man does it, its ok. A woman does it, its ok.

God forbid if there’s an untraceable number

From a Ghost who walks.

I can walk, I can fly and I can even swim

But, perhaps, all of it together is not

Exactly a win-win or a declaration of being

A part of a so-called “team” (Ghorar dim)

If one person chooses not to do any work

Guess what happens for the others

Who are colluding to hide that person

From things that they themselves shirk.

Melting Lemon Drop 22. 03. 2026